Josi (O-Josi-O) (eris_devotee) wrote,
Josi (O-Josi-O)

I'm in a foul mood. I've been generally irritated since my last eye surgery making my vision worse (although it is a process, and the surgery was a success for its intended purpose).

But part of my crankiness has been brewing because...

well, I disconnected from nearly everyone in my life when I was 25, and started over and found new relationships. Then I got reconnected. And it seems that all at once, a bunch of those people started acting in the exact ways that put me off to begin with.

It's so odd to love someone but struggle with liking them, and wondering what to do about that. Do I change my attitude, do I write a person off, do I try to communicate with them about an issue?

Farts Rainbows is a perfect example - she actually farted a rainbow (or came as close to that as is possible without a colonic cleanse and bright lighting). When I read her post I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, considering that's been my internal snarky nickname for her for years. I thought (hoped) she had grown out of her presuppositions, her biased hierarchy, her...


I've been trying to gather the pieces and parts for an internet experiment in non-linear interactive literature. I keep hitting a wall because I can't get out of the darkness. I'm disappointed in people, the people in my life, and I want the project to be more than merely exposing the shitty ways in which people are willing to treat each other.

As a teen, I thought I'd grow up and eventually write horror fiction. I could house my project in that construct, I suppose. My hesitation is that I do not want the message lost in the metaphor.
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