Friends

From this high midtown hall, undecked with boughs, unfortified with mistletoe, we send forth our tinselled greetings as of old, to friends, to readers, to strangers of many conditions in many places. Merry Christmas to uncertified accountants, to tellers who have made a mistake in addition, to girls who have made a mistake in judgment, to grounded airline passengers, and to all those who can't eat clams! We greet with particular warmth people who wake and smell smoke. To captains of river boats on snowy mornings we send an answering toot at this holiday time. Merry Christmas to intellectuals and other despised minorities! Merry Christmas to the musicians of Muzak and men whose shoes don't fit! Greetings of the season to unemployed actors and the blacklisted everywhere who suffer for sins uncommitted; a holly thorn in the thumb of compilers of lists! Greetings to wives who can't find their glasses and to poets who can't find their rhymes! Merry Christmas to the unloved, the misunderstood, the overweight. Joy to the authors of books whose titles begin with the word "How" (as though they knew!). Greetings to people with a ringing in their ears; greetings to growers of gourds, to shearers of sheep, and to makers of change in the lonely underground booths! Merry Christmas to old men asleep in libraries! Merry Christmas to people who can't stay in the same room with a cat! We greet, too, the boarders in boarding houses on 25 December, the duennas in Central Park in fair weather and foul, and young lovers who got nothing in the mail. Merry Christmas to people who plant trees in city streets; merry Christmas to people who save prairie chickens from extinction! Greetings of a purely mechanical sort to machines that think--plus a sprig of artificial holly. Joyous Yule to Cadillac owners whose conduct is unworthy of their car! Merry Christmas to the defeated, the forgotten, the inept; joy to all dandiprats and bunglers! We send, most particularly and most hopefully, our greetings and our prayers to soldiers and guardsmen on land and sea and in the air--the young men doing the hardest things at the hardest time of life. To all such, Merry Christmas, blessings, and good luck! We greet the Secretaries-designate, the President-elect; Merry Christmas to our new leaders, peace on earth, good will, and good management! Merry Christmas to couples unhappy in doorways! Merry Christmas to all who think they are in love but aren't sure! Greetings to people waiting for trains that will take them in the wrong direction, to people doing up a bundle and the string is too short, to children with sleds and no snow! We greet ministers who can't think of a moral, gagmen who can't think of a joke. Greetings, too, to the inhabitants of other planets; see you soon! And last, we greet all skaters on small natural ponds at the edge of woods toward the end of afternoon. Merry Christmas, skaters! Ring, steel! Grow red, sky! Die down, wind! Merry Christmas to all and to all a good morrow!

http://musicalmadness-goblinko.blogspot.com/2009/12/whats-this.html

Originally published at Acorns to Oaktrees. You can comment here or there.

Track Santa!

http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/go_fug_yourself/2009/12/fugs_and_pieces122309.html

http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/go_fug_yourself/2009/12/fug_the_cover_leighton_meester122309.html

Mystic blogger Neil Kramer is this week’s guest for a Christmastime episode of Diet Soap. Also featured this week is Shen Findell and Tibet2Timbuk2’s song “Beautiful Girl” from the album Music is Life. Neil and KMO of the C-Realm podcast will be visiting Portland, Oregon on January 20th and 21st, and there will be an event and presentation on Peak Oil, Collapse, Control Systems, Transdimensional Shifts, and Revolution. Email douglain@dietsoap.org if you need or want more information or just have something to say, or call Diet Soap at 971-285-4604 and leave a voicemail message to get your voice on the podcast. Miriam says hello and hopes you get a lifejacket this Christmas. You can find this episode at dietsoap.podomatic.com, or subscribe to the podcast on iTunes.

Originally published at Diet Soap. Please leave any comments there.

http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/go_fug_yourself/2009/12/no_fugbt122309.html

[Photo: WENN.com]

And if that happens to be a coat that's an ode to color bars, well, so be it. As an added bonus, if Joseph's technicolor dreamcoat gets lost at the cleaners, she can sell him this replacement. Easy money.

http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/go_fug_yourself/2009/12/freaky_fug_fri-wednes-day_hail.html

THE PICTURE, PART 1:

[Photos: Splash News]

THE SUBJECT: Hailey Glassman, noted ex-paramour of renowned shithead Jon Gosselin, sporting a shirt by famed purveyor of asshat-wear, Ed Hardy (Christian Audigier's label).

THE PICTURE, PART II:

http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/go_fug_yourself/2009/12/fffwinner_122209.html

The winner: Cecily. And here is the winning rhyming couplet:

 
[Photo: FlynetOnline.com]

By Cecily

"The lamp being rubbed was older than thought
And out popped a genie whose mess was red hot."

Another week, another awesome contest. Our holiday present to you: We'll run one over the Christmas break, beginning tomorrow -- so be sure and swing by to check the photo.

http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/go_fug_yourself/2009/12/xfugina.html

http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/go_fug_yourself/2009/12/unfug_it_up_paris_hilton122209.html

http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/go_fug_yourself/2009/12/fug_or_fab_the_cover_lady_gaga.html

http://musicalmadness-goblinko.blogspot.com/2009/12/alone-in-world.html

http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/go_fug_yourself/2009/12/breakfast_at_fugffanys122209.html

[Photos: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

That jumpsuit is so slickery and puffy, it seems for all the world like it's lined with thinsulate. She looks as if she just hung up her skis and is sidling into the lodge to have some soup in a bread bowl before hitting the slopes again. 

This did make me want to take a look back at what she wears when she's leaving the theatre, just in case we missed something. Now, Anna here has starred in many performances, so this is only really a random sampling. But she does appear to love the black-and-white:

Judging by the transparent shirt's limp creases and sad exposure of the tube bra, it is as uninspired by being part of this outfit as I am in viewing it. At first I thought the frock was hopeless and dumpy, but the more I look at it, the more I wonder if it has merits but just an impossible neckline for anything except a Free The Nips rally. Oh, Anna. I loved you in Pushing Daisies, and I LOVED Chuck's wardrobe. And Chuck would of course love this, if it came with a giant lime green hat, and also was totally different in both style and hue. Maybe Anna should spend the next week or two living by the mantra WWLTCC do -- a.k.a., "What Would Lonely Tourist Charlotte Charles Do?" I suspect she'd start by scrapping the leather ski boots we also saw in the first photo of this entry. Now THAT'S what I call bringing things full-circle.

http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/go_fug_yourself/2009/12/lindsay_fughan122209.html

[Photo: Splash News]

http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/go_fug_yourself/2009/12/fugdrina_patridge122209.html

[Photo: Splash News]

http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/go_fug_yourself/2009/12/unfug_or_fab_it_up_anna_friel.html

http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/go_fug_yourself/2009/12/fools_fug122109.html

http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/go_fug_yourself/2009/12/new_years_fuggin_eve122109.html

She started out thusly:

[Photos: Splash News]

Apparently they are shooting this special on Hoth. I desperately hope there's not a portion of the show where she has to slice open Jay-Z and use his innards for warmth.

And then:

http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/go_fug_yourself/2009/12/freaky_fug_friday_vote_it_up.html

http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/go_fug_yourself/2009/12/alex_fuggan122109.html

[Photo: WENN.com]

http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/go_fug_yourself/2009/12/fug_the_ad_beyonce122109.html

http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/go_fug_yourself/2009/12/big_fug122109.html

Originally published at The Fiction of Douglas Lain. You can comment here or there.

A Coffee Cup/Alien Invasion Story

The UFOs in the sky over Portland look like hubcaps. Silver or chrome-plated saucers, all of them roughly the same size and all of them spinning, hang miraculously in midair, but most people either don’t see them or pretend that they don’t see. [...]

http://musicalmadness-goblinko.blogspot.com/2009/12/there-once-was-man.html

Originally published at Acorns to Oaktrees. You can comment here or there.

Your Birthday’s Wisdom is Creation

You have learned that you’re happiest in life when you’re working with your hands. Whether you’re cooking or writing, being creativity is what fools you.</p> You don’t like to be stagnant, and you are always thinking of new projects. You believe that a wasted day can lead to a wasted life. You make the most of the time you have.